Monday, January 10, 2022

How to make friends at College- A Guide for Introverts | GossipKnowledge

The transition from school to college can be quite intimidating. You tend to lose contact with your school friends and slowly that bond of friendship fades away and you find yourself back to square one in the social aspect of life. No one to go to when you are facing problems or need help or even simply talk your heart out. Yes, you might call your old friends or meet sometimes but then you slowly start feeling hesitant thinking that you might be invading their personal space. And many a times your schedules don't match up and most of the plans get cancelled at the last moment.

Now, since you are in a college you feel the dire need to be the center of attention, fantasizing about how people are going to cheer when you will be felicitated on the graduation day. You dream of everyone knowing you but at the end of the day if you didn't leave a profound effect on anyone in your college life then it's not going to be that easy and you might end up feeling like you are going to be some batchmate whom people hardly remember.

So what now, well you got to make new friends. It's going to be a little easier this time, believe me when I say it, because most of the kids in college are also facing the same problem and need friends. I have been there and I know it. You just need to make a small effort and you will make new friends.(Friendly advice - I know sometimes you might get turned down by people for no reason and they might simply not want to talk to you. In that case you should not force friendship. And in no condition become friends who do not resonate with your energy or seem to be involved in things that are against your morals. But beside this you need to be open minded and try to welcome new people with a complete different approach towards life because they will teach you a lot and help you actually mature and become prepared for when the time comes.)

Making new friends in a complete new environment is already a task and if you are an introvert then it's a tough row to hoe. So here I am to save your day and give you some hacks to make things easy for you. I have listed points that I have learned from my experience which really helped me to make friends in the first place as I myself am an introvert. So here you go-
  • Try to find the mutual interests of your batchmates by looking at the conversations that usually happen in the unofficial groups. Stay active and try being a part of the conversation when the topic comes up or maybe even personally text them and try to strike a conversation. Listen more than you speak. Most people just want to be heard so lend them your ear.
  • Be helpful and available. That's the basic thing you need to do when trying to make friends. Maybe try helping them with their studies if they need. People tend to remember those who help them in need. And these small things that people do for each other actually form the basis of any kind of relationship.
  • Join as many clubs and societies you can. Participate in the fests, events and workshops and try to meet people. These kind of group activities/events really help you bond with people. Go to library, canteen and places in the campus which are generally a bit crowded and try to interact. Just do not miss out on any opportunity where you might get public exposure because once you are seen and heard people will start noticing you and try to interact themselves.
  • Try to connect with college students on social media. Social media is like the easiest way to make friends nowadays. Just share a good meme and try to break the ice.  
  • If you know how to play an instrument then you can use it to attract attention of the people and to be honest music is really a good way to bond with people. In my experience, I tend to like people with good music taste especially those who can sing or play some kind of musical instrument. So, if you have a talent then showcase it.
  • Try to keep up with the latest ongoing trends. Watch some OTT content that's quite often the topic discussion in the group. Read a lot of books and acquire all the knowledge you can. Because if you are good at putting your thoughts out there and know a lot of stuff, you can easily converse a lot with people. Here is a book recommendation which you can read to know more about how to win people over and make friends.

-- "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

  •  Try to keep a smile on your face so that you seem approachable and friendly. If you really give off good vibes then you will attract a lot of people. Have you ever asked your old friends why did they become friends with you in the first place and what was your first impression on them? Talk to them and try to find out what are your strong points that makes you friendly and try to use them in your favor.( Also a good way to connect with your old friends and recall those funny memories of each other.)
  • When you are sitting in the classroom maybe try changing your seat around a little and sit with different people to see with whom you hit off. If you think no one is sitting with you in the class, Either come too early and offer a seat to those who come too late or come too late and grab the first seat you find and sit with different people. Try to observe and interact with others. Do not push them to talk or be friends with you.
  • Keep in mind that there might be other people who might seem a little unfriendly at first. You might think that why no one is sitting with them in the class or why they are eating their lunch alone or maybe acting strangely, just try to approach them, it might be very likely that they are also an introvert and are facing difficulties to open up and make friends. Try to befriend them. 
  • A general practice you can adopt is to try to say hello and compliment the people you meet. Be genuine while complimenting and try not to be mistaken as a creep. Few sweet words will get you what you want!
  • Work on yourself especially your sarcasm or humor because it can work like a charm. Most of the students in college are bored after attending all the classes and if you can be the person who can make them laugh after all the tiresome classes and match their sarcasm level, You will soon be having inside jokes with a lot of people.
  • Be open to different ideologies and viewpoints of people and if not agree at least try to understand their beliefs and respect them. Don't refrain yourself from putting your viewpoint but never try to argue with anyone. Keep any kind of discussion healthy. And do not hesitate to apologize in case you feel that the other person might have been offended by what you said.
At then end, Just be yourself and confident and you will eventually meet people who would like to talk, interact and be friends with you. All this might get a little intimidating at first but eventually you will come along. Don't be frustrated or harsh on yourself if things get a bit difficult and you are not able to make a lot of friends. Just one good friend is all what you really need.
Here is a TEDx speech given by Canadian motivational speaker SAM DEMMA on how to make friends. In this video he talks about his college experience and his #onedayoneperson challenge which helped him to make friends in college. Don't forget to check it out.

If you still need any help you can comment on this blog and if you have any other hack or personal life experience to share, you can comment or mail us. We would love to hear from you. 

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